Pavano threw 91 pitches over five innings, 54 of them for strikes, survived hitting two batters and set down eight of the final 12 batters he faced.
He also killed 10,000 Wookiees.
If Carl Pavano winds up being the shot in the arm the Yanks needed, I’m done with baseball. I can’t take it.
Category Archive for 'yankees'
DoctorD: CARL PAVANO PITCHES TOMORROW
J-Bla: man, taht’s like the death star entering orbit around alderaan
DoctorD: True, in that the death star is prone to blowing up hilariously at critical moments
J-Bla: i think the only way this is fitting is if he’s perfect through 7 and then his shoulder explodes
DoctorD: THIS FULLY OPERATIONAL CARL PAVANO
DoctorD: Then […]
The Red Sox Are So Much Better Than The Yankees
Posted in journalism, mike bauman, red sox, slow news day, yankees on Apr 11th, 2008
You know, I sat down and looked at American Hooligans today, and I said, “Man, nothing’s going on in sports lately. I sure wish I had something to write about!” But since there’s really nothing worthy of commentary right now, I shut the fuck up. Lucky for me, though, Mike Bauman doesn’t have the same […]
Yankees Beat Writers Can’t Read A Depth Chart
Posted in arod, betemit, jeter, range factor, yankees on Apr 8th, 2008
The always dependable Yankees beat writers have been throwing a hissy fit over talk - talk they created, mind you - about temporarily moving A-rod to short, since Jeter’s leg fell off. (Special Baseball Cancer note: Jeter’s not on my team!) Yahoo offers this synopsis:
If it were longer, who knows? As you know, wrote John […]
LaTroy Hawkins, Recent History Would Like a Word with You
Posted in latroy hawkins, numbers, paul oneill, yankees on Apr 3rd, 2008
From the April 3 Yahoo Yankees Team Report:
RHP LaTroy Hawkins may have inadvertently made life a little tougher for himself in the Bronx with his choice of uniform numbers, but the reliever doesn’t seem likely to be shaken even if he’ll have to win fans over. Hawkins selected No. 21 as a tribute to […]
I now have a new hope for the Girardi era.
But what caught my eye immediately was a copy of the Baseball Prospectus 2008 annual on the shelf behind the desk. Baseball Prospectus in the manager’s office?
Yep, Joe Torre doesn’t live here any more.
One of us! One of us! One of us!
“Hentai Hideki” Matsui Gets Married
Posted in Baseball, abreu, dick moves, jeter, matsui, yankees on Mar 28th, 2008
Hideki Matsui, famous around the Yankee clubhouse for his gigantic porn collection, got married earlier this week, and he also fleeced Derek Jeter and Bobby Abreu on a bet:
Matsui made the wager at the start of spring training about who would wed first, then flew to New York on his off day on Wednesday to […]
Yanks Cut Billy Crystal
Posted in Baseball, billy crystal, yankees on Mar 15th, 2008
Well, so much for that.
J-Bla and I were talking about this and I was genuinely in favor of keeping him around to rattle pitchers. If he can go to a full count and go down swinging after fouling one off, he can obviously still get the bat around enough to stand up to MLB pitching, […]
Ducan, Gomes, Cabrera Suspended for Fussin’ and a-Feudin’
Posted in Baseball, fight, melky cabrera, rabbit punches, rays, yankees on Mar 14th, 2008
After the Rays-Yankees “brawl” earlier this week, Shelley Duncan and Melky Cabrera received a three-day suspension and Jonny Gomes picked up a two-day ban. Not too surprising, given how much the league cares about its clean-cut image. The story I originally heard was Shelley Duncan attempted to make a flying karate kick look like a […]
Paul Maholm Went to 3-2 on a 60-Year-Old (Liveblog)
Posted in Baseball, billy crystal, liveblog, paul maholm, yankees on Mar 13th, 2008
Holy shit billy crystal is batting right now.
“[Pitcher Paul Maholm] is probably more afraid of him than Jeter because he knows what to expect with Jeter.” Thanks, Paul O’Neill.
0-0: Outside
1-0: fouled off!
1-1: Inside
2-1: Outside
3-1: Big cut on a 3-1 cutter. Who throws a cutter to your grandpa?
3-2: Goes down swinging on the cutter. Seriously, you […]